Thursday, April 12, 2012

The "Baby Question"

After I had my first baby, I remember sitting up all night in the hospital staring at him.  The room was dark, and the only light was from the moon outside my window.  I was in awe of this tiny person.  So perfect.  So precious.  I couldn't believe he was mine.  Mine to dress, mine to feed, mine to hold, mine to protect and guide for the next umpteenth years.

Of course Hubby was welcome to help too.

When Hubby arrived at the hospital the next morning, I told him we had to do it again.  I wanted another one.  I was completely in love with motherhood and my new baby.  He looked at me like I was the insane person I am and asked if we could wait a few years.

I hesitantly agreed that it might be a good idea to leave the hospital first.

My mother had six children, and I remember asking her often about being a parent.  When I first learned how babies are born I immediately went to her and wanted to know how badly it hurt.  Was she nuts?  How could she ever have six of us that way?

She told me that if it hurt that bad no one would have more than one.  She also said that once you are holding your baby you don't remember all that pain...until you are pregnant again.

She was right. 

I asked her if she really wanted six kids.  It was so much work.  She was up and dressed before any of us woke and she was always the last one to bed.  She was on call 24 hours out of the day, bringing sick kids medicine and tending to bad dreams.  Did she really want six kids?  Why? 

She told me my dad wanted eight, and that she loved having babies.  She called it "fun."  She likened it to a science experiment, saying you never get the same one twice.  Which amazed her, because there were so many possible combinations. 

Let me pause here and clarify my parents were very comfortable with a home, and money for food and clothes.  I don't want to paint a picture of "the Octomom" here.

But, now that I have four kids, I understand what my mom was saying.  Babies are fun.  They are innocent and they smell good.  Their skin is soft and they are fun to dress.  They are the best snugglers and they want nothing other than rest and a good meal.

A good burp helps too.  And a clean tush.

The trouble with babies is that they cost money.  And as they grow up, they have more needs.  And everything costs more money.  And sometimes I feel like I need to duplicate myself in order to be with two of them at once.  Or be two places at once.  Life gets hectic and the more babies to you have, the more hectic it is. 
There is also very little time for anything other than being a Mommy.

But it is also fun.  There are more laughs, more hugs and more memories.  There is more news at the dinner table and more friends living under one roof.  Kids keep life interesting.  They marvel at simple things such a Christmas lights, and they love to swim.  And run in sprinklers.  They play board games and imagine they are Mario and Luigi.

I've come to accept I will never not want another baby.  Never.  I could have babies until the end of time.  I love them just like my mother does.  The blood runs in my veins. 
But I've also come to accept that unless I step into a huge sum of money, or plant a money tree in the yard (I've asked Santa every year for one - what the bleep Santa?), there will be no more babies for me.

Oh, and Hubby has officially drawn the line.  That man is ready for a dinner in a restaurant without a high chair or a booster seat.  Scratch that.  He is ready to eat a real dinner period.

I guess I can't blame him.
I'm fairly certain my "the more the merrier" baby mentality is unique, but I tend to live first and worry about the logic later.  Every family is different.  Some have one child, or two.  Some have seven.  Some have none.  Every family has their own reasons.  Some have struggles, some love their careers, and some just prefer to sleep at night and retire early.

Everyone has a different story.  And everyone does what works for them.

As for me, I love babies.  Always have, always will.  I come from a long line of baby and big family lovers.  I had four munchkins because I wanted a big family.  Hubby was pretty content with two and I'm sure he looks around and wonders what the heck happened. 
I call it life.  And it's pretty grand.

13 comments:

  1. I can completely relate! I will never get over the urge to have babies in the house! I could have babies until the end of time. Unfortunately, our income would not allow that! We are having 1 more(which makes 4) and then we are done.

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  2. Sometimes when I visit my best friend (who has one child) or my sil and her husband (who have none together) I will marvel at how clean things are and how nicely everything is decorated - and then 15 seconds later I am cleaning up a mess one of my kids made or offering to pay for something they have broken. I may occasionally covet their "house" but I would never trade it for our "home", our family. They would both give anything to have what we have and while I occasionally have a tremendous amount of guilt at how abundantly we have been blessed in the baby department I try to remember that not everyone is so lucky.

    "4" is our number. Unless God decides to use us as a lesson...

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    1. I agree! I have my fifteen minutes of "wow - that looks easy" when I see a one or two child family. But then I always remember, its only easier once you have more than that - when i had two I'm sure it was tricky! :) 4 is our number too...unless we also are used a lesson...:)

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  3. I love babies, and children and would have had a dozen if I could have. Ok maybe I'd have had more...but that is not the plan God had for me. I have 2...and I love them more than life itself. I wish I could have more, some days I cry because I can't, but I have learned to accept it and be happy.

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  4. The trouble with babies is that they grow up!

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  5. I love babies too. Want so many more. But unfortunately my body is not good during pregnancy. I thrive when others have the babies. But that hurts so much too while bringing so much joy.

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    1. Your girls are adorable - i can see why you want so many more. Mommyhood is a tough place..so much joy and so much reality all in one! You better tell those girls you need LOTS of grandbabies in 25 years! LOL!

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  6. LOL, I am not a baby person.. I like the toddlers. We have 9. 6 are adults already. I will be grandma to baby 2 any day. We have had many hard days, but nothing that God hasn't gotten us through. The fun days wow... Kids bring so much wonder to everything. You have beautiful kids ... smile.

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    1. 9? That's amazing! Toddlers are a hoot, I guess its good for you the baby stage is very short!

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  7. It IS grand, and you have you a beautiful family!

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  8. Ohh I 'd love to haver some more. I have one now and we are trying for another but it doesn't seem to be in the cards for us. We have trouble getting the first one and my husband says no medical intervention this time. I don't blame him but I have to work on not envying those with big families!!

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Throw in your two cents!