Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Needs, Needs, Needs....


Becoming a Mom means being needed.  Needed all the time.  Needed to feed your munchkins, change your munchkins, support your munchkins...the list goes on and on.  I remember when I used to watch my nieces, I thought it was so endearing how they would hang on my Aunt's legs.  It drove her nuts.  I couldn't imagine why.  I couldn't wait to have someone need me that way. 

Now I know why it drove her nuts.

What I never imagined is how exhausting being "needed" is.   Sometimes I just want to sleep, but a munchkin has a bad dream.  Or a munchkin is sick.  I just want to leave because I'm late, but LLG needs me to read a book. I just want to take pictures of my son's football team, but Moopa sees me through the fence.... Needs, needs, needs....

But just when I want to scream from all the needs in my house, I remember that being a parent is a privilege.  I am needed by four munchkins all the time, and it reminds me that I am a part of something bigger than myself. 

The name of the game is sacrifice.  I signed up for it.  And 99% of the time I am more than happy to sacrifice anything of mine for my munchkins.  The only thing I will not share is my ice cream.  Sorry munchkins, one taste, but then you are out of luck.  It's just too important to me.

Now I wait until they are all sleeping to eat my ice cream.   I wait for that time to be alone and recharge. What I need after a day of being "Mama" is a long run and a bowl of ice cream.  My needs are much more simple than before Mommyhood.  But we learn as we go what we really need to keep truckin'.  And it is always less than you think you need.

Mommyhood is a balance of meeting our own needs and meeting our children's needs. And most days I am lucky if I find that balance.  I do my best.

And this is what it looks like to be needed, needed so desperately that Moopa's day is 100% ruined if I don't hold her that instant.

This is also what I look like if it is 9:55pm and I still haven't had my ice cream.
Having my munchkins has enriched my life more than I could have ever imagined.  They have given me perspective, purpose and unconditional love.  Which in turn, has made me need them. 

I imagine this is also what I'll look like dropping my last munchkin off at college.  But I won't look as cute.  Needs are a two way street,  which I will remember the next time a munchkin is hanging off my knee begging me not to leave.  One day that will be me.  I guarantee it.

2 comments:

  1. I like this perspective- some day the tables will be turned! It's hard to be needed all the time, but when I can find balance (ice cream or chocolate after bedtime and some computer time) then it's manageable. I love those last pictures, glad I stumbled across your blog tonight :-)
    Chelsea
    I don't know why I have trouble commenting under my URL on blogspot, but I'm from www.cowgirlclippings.com I don't like being "anonymous" ;-)

    ReplyDelete

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