Saturday, September 25, 2010

Who Changed You?

Friendship is complicated. We have friends from childhood, friends from college.  We have "mom" friends, "work" friends and "family" friends.  Friends, friends, friends.  They are everywhere.

If we are lucky we have a few close friends we can really rely on.  Friends who love us like family and we love them that way in return.  Friends who "get" us.

I have friends who get me.  This is a miracle because I don't even get myself.

At the ripe old age of 19 I met Hubby.  I was naive.  Mature, but still so naive. We were in love, crazy love.  After about three months of "no matter how much I see you it is NEVER enough" dating, we were engaged.  I then went to a surprise party (that was not a surprise), and I met his friends.

That was the night I met Krista.

We didn't really talk that night.  At the time we had nothing in common other than knowing Hubby.

She is tall (5'10"), and I am quite small (5'3").  We look nothing alike.  She is a bit more reserved than I am (most people are).  She was "country," I was pure "suburbia."  At the time, she was a better person than I was.  I say that with confidence.

Our childhoods could not have been more different.
But then we became Mommies.

And against all odds, we somehow forged a bond so tight she is now bound to me forever (Lord help her).

I'm amazed at how Krista is my family, yet in high school she would have been a mere "Hello."

And now our families mesh together for weekends and vacations.  We have more memories than my memory can retain (which unfortunately isn't much).  The Hubbies complain we shop too much and they golf too little.  We ignore them.  We squeeze our families into eachother's houses and let our kids run wild for the duration of the visit.

We have meshed so well that she is no longer "country" and I am no longer "suburbia."  We are "counburbia".  Whatever that means.

More than anything Krista changed me for the better.  On one vacation in Florida I decided it was time to cut my hair pixie style.  This decision came to an abrupt halt as the hairdresser was knee deep in my once long locks.  Sick to my stomach (literally), I chanted, "I look like a man, I look like a man..." in a state of hair withdrawal shock.  

Krista drove me to Walmart.  There, she calmly told me clips would make my semi-pixie style cute.  We picked some out and I started to breathe again.

Then she got in the chair at the Walmart Salon and chopped her hair off too.  "It's JUST grows back!"  She kept telling me.

And it did.  It was a valuable lesson about vanity.  

The first time she mailed me photos (we live a few hours apart) she wrote "Photos, please do not bend. Thanks!" on the envelope.

I never once thanked a mailman on an envelope for not bending my photos.  Never. Today, every piece of mail I send that needs to be preserved, I thank the mailman for doing so in advance on the envelope.

The miraculous part of growing older is opening yourself up to change.  The miraculous part of being a Mommy is yearning to constantly change for the better.

I have a few friends who "get" me.  I am blessed enough to have a few friends who also changed me.  I can count them on one hand.  They know who they are, and I thank them for my personal evolution.

Krista is one of those few.  She changed me for the better.

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