Clark Griswald: Roy; can I call you Roy? Have you even driven cross-country?
Roy Walley: Oh, hell yes. Drove the whole family to Florida. Worst 2 weeks I ever spent in my life. The smell from the back seat was terrible.
We're road tripping to Disney. The dog sitter will be arriving shortly and we are hittin' the road.
All six of us, in our giant "MOM I'm carsick!" SUV. It's going to be a hoot.
Hubby can't wait.
I wonder if we'll still be married after 20 hours in the car? We may just divorce ourselves 16 hours in and call it a day.
In the past, we have always flown. I scoured the internet for airfare until my eyes fried out of my head. I checked prices every day, all day until I could declare a victory.
This year that wasn't the case. Victory was not mine.
We drove last year, and the ride down was a breeze. The munchkins woke up in South Carolina, and with every few miles south the temperature climbed. The way back? Now that was torture. We were tired. Exhausted. The weather declined with each hour and the Gymnastics Queen puked in the backseat.
It was interesting, to say the least. I remember thinking I would rather stick needles in my eyes than drive back from Disney again.
To bypass ride-home misery we booked a room this year. We shall not be traveling back to the frigid northeast without a stay-over to rejuvenate.
Tomorrow, for 15 hours I'm going to stuff my face in the front seat with junk food and drive Hubby crazy telling him to watch the road.
And that he's driving too fast.
And ask really stupid questions like, What state are we in? Are you awake? Do you think we're soul mates? Who killed JFK?
For the other four hours I'm going to pitch in and drive. Hubby can only take me behind the wheel for four hours, and that's because he'll be sleeping.
It's going to be one hell of a trip. Stay tuned...
Mommyhood Footnote: This was a semi-edited-re-post. In case it looked familiar.